Dad's tampon input (no pun intended)

My dad's been helping me figure out what I should invest my IRA money in.

DAD: You should invest in something you yourself would buy.
ME: Hmmmmmmmm.... I'm trying to think of what I buy a lot of.....
DAD: Tampons?
ME: Heck no! Those'll kill ya!
DAD: Really?
ME: Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah.
DAD: Toxic shock and all that? That's still around?
ME: Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah it is.

I will not be investing in vaginal carcinogens.