Dad's tampon input (no pun intended)

My dad's been helping me figure out what I should invest my IRA money in.

DAD: You should invest in something you yourself would buy.
ME: Hmmmmmmmm.... I'm trying to think of what I buy a lot of.....
DAD: Tampons?
ME: Heck no! Those'll kill ya!
DAD: Really?
ME: Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah.
DAD: Toxic shock and all that? That's still around?
ME: Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah it is.

I will not be investing in vaginal carcinogens.

wtf costumes

Recently I've been loving some wtf costumes, so when I came across this one, I couldn't not share it:

If you really want to stand out at a Halloween fancy dress party you need a few things;

1: An original idea
2: Craft skills to actually see the idea come to life
3: Attitude to make the costume work

What you see above is all three together but for all the wrong reasons.

Mail bag 2!

I'm still occasionally getting emails and facebook messages about the blog, which leads me to believe I'm on the right track achieving my dream of becoming some sort of menstrual pop-culture icon. Weird....

Anyway...

Dear Jamie,

First, may I say how much I enjoy reading your blog! :)

I wrote a blog recently on the Always adverts (y'know, the whole 'have a happy period' malarkey), and the blog ended up being about periods generally, and about period pain. I'd love to know your opinion on what I've written, and on the comments that have been left as a result. Here's the link to it...

Thanks! :)

Caitlin

I read your post and all the comments at the end. Things got tense!

I never really know what to say during discussions about period pains. I certainly know that some women have a terrible time with it every month, but fortunately I'm not one of them. So consequently, I really don't know what it's like to be incapacitated for a few days with cramps/headaches/backaches/nausea/what-have-you any more than a man would, I don't think. I understand it's a problem, but as far as physical sensations, I'm largely in the dark.

I do have a feeling that if men suffered from crippling cyclical pains, there would be a little more research on it, especially historically. Buut, I don't really have anything to back that feeling up, you know what I mean? I'll have to think about this a little more.

--Jamie.

Things did indeed get a little tense...it's always more difficult when it's people you know! I agree about the whole not being able to back up that 'feeling' - but I think there is definitely evidence to that effect out there. Take endometriosis, for example - there has not been much research into it, despite the fact that it affects a vast amount of women, and awareness about it is seldom raised - so many women I know had never heard of it before, even though it is a very real issue. People always say 'well what about breast cancer, that's something which affects only women and it has loads of research into it...but I think the very fact that you can only point to one woman-specific illness is very telling.

It is a tricky one though! I can see where the commenters are coming from, even if I disagree with them, and such an argument is always difficult when neither side is especially well-versed in the world of medicine...

Caitlin x

So go read Caitlin's post and all the comments because it is a little something to think about.

Bad ideas

Today I was thinking about the title "Period Piece" and how I've never really been completely in love with it. I like "Menstruator Extraordinaire" a lot better.

I was considering changing this from P.P. to M.E., but thought that was a bad idea because it's a pain to spell out M.E. (hence the abbreviations).

Then I thought about ways that I could maybe shorten it, and the first thing that came to mind was Mens. Ex.
Mensex.
Men Sex.

That's way hilariously misleading. So bad idea. Any better names?

Clever.... or no?

Something about this I don't like.
Perhaps it's my general disdain for unwitty slogan t-shirts.
Or maybe it's my unfailing need to over-seriously apply logic to just about every aspect of everything:
How does bleeding for 5 days and not dying make someone untrustworthy?
It logically makes her tough, or persistent maybe. But I see no connection to trustworthiness.
FAIL.

Boobie secrets!

I know this is more of an "upstairs" accessory and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your monthlies.

So to make a tenuous connection to the blog: The Cleavage Caddy does seem like a great place to tote around your Insteads, or, if you must, your tampons.

There are tons of times I don't feel like carrying a purse, but pretty much all of my dress clothes are without pockets. Unfortunately, I guess the catch-22 there though is that I probably wouldn't want to be seen digging around in my boobies on any occasion I'm wearing dress clothes. Drat.

Halloween costume idea

Someone be this for Halloween please. (Either the girl or the little bloody characters.) I will give you a dollar.

Transgender Menstruation

A couple nights ago on MSNBC (I think), I watched a show about a FtM transgender boy and his FtM mentor. It was a touching story. The boy was about fourteen/fifteen. I'm not sure how long he had been transitioning, but one thing he mentioned being terrified of was getting a period. His mom said one day he had one tiny spot of blood and flipped out. I have no idea what that must be like, but I imagine it's very disturbing.

So then I was thinking about what else menstruation might mean to different members of the trans community. A little googling led me to learn about Korean transsexual pop singer Harisu. She got famous by doing make-up commercials, but what caught my attention was the commercial she did for disposable pads.

I can really see how those transitioning female-to-male would want to avoid menstruation altogether, but I wonder how it's viewed from a MtF perspective?

Oh la la!

I am surprised. Bleeding tyrannasaurus cartoons = genius?

Down in the Menstrual Hut

Watch this.
Okay, so the music didn't really do anything for me, but I did enjoy the puppeteering.

On second thought...

My last post was about PMSBuddy, basically a site for men to keep track of the lady-happenings of whatever women in their lives might let them.



But later, I also remembered sites like MyMonthlyCycles, which is a site for women who want to keep track of their periods. I've never used it, but it appears that you can also track other events relating to your body: weight gain or loss, fertility cycles, when its time for breast exams. I can see how this could be really helpful: it creates a very clear picture of what your cycle pattern (or lack thereof) looks like, thereby giving you a heads-up for next time.

Does anyone use a website like this?

PMS Buddy?

Feministing brought to my attention a new website called PMSBuddy.com. What is it, you ask?

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all. ...Saving relationships, one month at a time!

Uhm, alright.

This website is geared towards men who want to keep track of women's magic times with the assumption that said magic time correlates with moodiness.

Firstly, as someone who has never really had any trouble with PMS, I can say that that correlation doesn't exist (in me, at least, and certainly in other women).

Secondly, PMSBuddy says it is "a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation". So instead of an "awkward conversation" (whatever that means), you can instead sign up for regular awkward emails?

Thirdly, maybe I don't want anyone or everyone to know when I'm having my damn period! This site kind of operates on the assumption that ladies will gladly tell you their bleeding schedules so you can avoid picking up on any social cues about if someone's grouchy or not. And for that matter, it also assumes regular bleeding schedules.

PMSBuddy, I hope, is intended to be a light-hearted joke kind of thing, so I'm trying not to get too analytical about it. Personally, I've never really thought jokes about PMS were funny. Although they're not always offensive (though most of the time they are), they just plain don't make me laugh. So this seems like a dumb idea to me. There are a lot of aspects of the website that annoy me: "During PMS women can feel bloated and unattractive. Show her how you really feel with some sexy lingerie". Ugh. Please don't. Odds are 999 to 1 that this website was made by men.

Thoughts?

Cyanide and Happiness Comic

Looooovvvvvveeeeee it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello again

I got my period yesterday and thought of how much I enjoyed doing this project. Then I realized there's really no reason why I can't continue blogging about the vaginal stigmata. And so I will.

PS - I finished the zine in July and it's totally kick-ass. It's called Menstruator Extraordinaire and it is available for purchase through my etsy, http://drygoods.etsy.com .

Get yours today!!

Real-life etsy reviews from satisfied customers:

• I teach a Young Feminisms class, and needed recent zines to show them. Your work is amazing, and I hope it inspires my class to do some zine making of their own.
• This is officially my new favorite thing everrrr in the world. I can tell you put great effort forth and I really appreciate being able to enjoy the product of your hard work. Thanks. Seriously.
• Great zine! As a fellow menstruation academic, I will put it to good use.

From the Honors College

Congratulations! We have just received the Assessment Form completed by your Faculty Sponsor with your grade for HONR 4000. You should be proud of your accomplishment in completing your project -- and are probably a little relieved as well. We are very pleased to inform you that your $1,000 Research Grant has been posted to your Revenue Account. We want you to know what a pleasure it has been having you as a member of The Honors College. Your participation and commitment to the Program are a positive reflection on the entire Central community and we hope you have found your honors experience a rewarding addition to your undergraduate academic career. Please let us hear from you with each success in your life – we am confident there will be many!


We am confident indeed. I'm doubtful I'll keep up much with the blog anymore, as comments seem to have tapered off, but I am working on the zine, which will probably be finished in a couple months.

Menstrual Blood Shows Heart-Repairing Stem Cell Properties

When menstrual blood was put with muscle tissue from some rats, it started to form a sheet of muscle tissue, kind of similar to stem cells. This is amazing to me. It's useful because if a woman uses her own blood to create tissue she needs, it eliminates the chances of her body rejecting it. (Men are SOL on this one, I suppose.) I don't know that much about how stem cells work, but I know they're important, so it's pretty cool that menstrual blood can have some of the same properties. Here's a link to the article.

In other news, I turned in my honors project today. Forty pages. Forty pages! I have never written anything nearly as long.

And I've started work on the paper zine I want to print this summer -- get excited!

Women Scholars at Central shout-out

This morning I was on facebook, looking through all the old pictures from Women Scholars. And I remembered this awesome bulletin board we made last year:

And, my favorite part, at the very bottom:

Lil Obee!

Coming Out of the Menstruation Closet

"So here's a revelation. Menstruation isn't gross, or shameful. In fact, it's actually kind of boring. It's only "weird" or "should be private" if you think of men as the default human beings and women as some sort of otherworldy creatures with bizarre practices."

Read.

Panty-WAIST?

The other day I was reading in my soc book something about masculinity and the author used the word panty-waist as one of the terms boys might call each other when someone's not acting masculine enough or whatever.

I've heard this term before of course, but I had never seen it in text. Panty-WAIST? I always thought it was panty-WASTE, as in, the waste inside a pair of panties. What the heck is a panty-waist? Elastic? Boys call each other boys pieces of elastic? It would be much more insulting to call someone a stinky sticky blob of lady-fluids. I think.

I was just surprised. Ohhhhhhhh homophones, you have beaten me again.

The results are in...

My workshop was kick-ass.

Every single one of my evals came back stellar, with comments like

• She was really light hearteed which eliminated a lot of the tension.
• Loved our speaker's personality and the word 'vag'.
• Jamie was a very good speaker and had fun with the presentation.
• Jamie was open and charming and knew her stuff. (To be honest, that one's from my old roommate.)
• Thanks for the info!
• I felt like the presenter was someone I could really relate to and even be friends with.

Tomorrow I'll be talking about this some more at the Central Scholars Symposium at 12:30. It's somewhere in the Union; I think I'm in 233.

Girlfriend aint had period since she got pregant?

I dunno if it's authentic or not, but I just had to share this.

Feministing

Feministing did a post about menstrual products today. Hooray!

Apologies for the sparse posts, but lately I have been too busy working on this paper, my workshop, and the vast multitude of other projects I have been putting off all semester. Not great times.

Workshop: It's Your Body. PERIOD.

Hello everyone in the UCM area:

We've decided on a date for my workshop!

It's Your Body. Period.
A workshop about the impact of menstrual products on your body, your wallet & the environment
Presented by Jamie Schlote as part of an honors thesis project
Wednesday, March 26, 1:00pm
Union 237B

"That time of the month." "Aunt Flo's monthly visit." "Riding the crimson tide." There are so many ways for women (and men) to talk about menstrual cycles without ever actually naming them. Why is this? This interactive session explores some of the taboos and anxieties surrounding menstruation, from the way ancient cultures interpreted it to how it is marketed to young girls today. Jamie compares typical drugstore products used to manage menstruation to lesser-known alternatives and reveals the hidden costs carried by both - to women's health, to women's wallets, and the environment.

So yeah. Mark your calendars; I can't wait to see you.

Mudslide in Crotch Canyon!!

While trying to come up with a catchy title for my workshop in a couple weeks, I've come across this list of euphemisms for menstruation. My favorites:

• Tomato boat has come in
• A visit from Cap'n Bloodsnatch
• The kitty has a nosebleed
• Dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy
• Rebooting the ovarian operating system

Word Count

My paper has 3,366 words in it right now. Eight single-spaced pages.

Jenn (advisor) says I should spend this next week haulin' ass (my paraphrase) with this thing so that I feel good about it when I leave for Spring Break on Friday. I agree.

I hope I continue to agree throughout the week...

I have a new hobby.

It's reading P&G's website for girls, BeingGirl.com, and imagining all the stories and articles being written by middle-aged men.

It's meant for 11-year-old-girls, so I shouldn't be too critical, I just can't believe I ever had a brain that would find this stuff useful. (I did, of course.)

"Vampires were our first freedom fighters!"

My mom has told me about this several times, but I never realized it was from Gloria Steinem. I had never heard the whole thing. It's pretty dang sweet.

If Men Could Menstruate: A Political Fantasy, by Gloria Steinem

A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make the person more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles.

Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis-envy is "natural" to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb-envy at least as logical.

In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.

What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.
Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.
Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.)

Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve in the Army ("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priest and ministers ("how could a woman give her blood for our sins?") or rabbis("without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean").

Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment.

Street guys would brag ("I'm a three pad man") or answer praise from a buddy ("Man, you lookin' good!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows would treat the subject at length. ("Happy Days": Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers.(SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers"!)

Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man.

Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month?

Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.

And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly. "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!": Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses-envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions ("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!") Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood...

In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.

If we let them.

myvag.net

I just discovered a lovely site called All About My Vagina. She wrote something about free-bleeding and I enjoyed it. You should too.

"Until recently, I hadn't thought much about 'free bleeding,' because it seemed very obviously impractical to me to refrain from any kind of menstrual product and just bleed all over things during magic time. ..It suddenly occurred to me one morning that I am already, in fact, quite a shamelessly free bleeder. Up until then, I had considered myself just lazy about product refreshment schedules."

Insteads

Today I finally went to Walgreens to pick up some Insteads. (Walgreens and Target are the only places I've found that sell them.) They come in a cute little purple box. While she was waiting for my debit card stuff to go through, the puzzled cashier was like, "Not pads?" and I didn't really want to say too much because there was a line of guys behind me, so I was just like, "I heard they're really cool. They go.... in." I felt sneaky because I'm pretty sure none of those dudes knew what we were talking about. It was $7.99 for a box of fourteen. I estimate the box would last a good three months, so that seems like an okay deal.

I thought they would be a little similar to the Divacup, and I guess they are in blood-collection strategy, but in appearance they are not. The best way I can describe an Instead is a pink Livestrong bracelet lining a tiny sandwich bag.


No product review yet.
Anyone else have Instead experiences to share?

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no"

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I am spending today reading all of these books:


But please enjoy this video I found on youtube, called Your Body and Your Government:

Boys

In my Sociology of Gender class last week, somehow we got on the subject of menstruation and how girls are socialized to keep it a big secret. It was a pretty fun little talk, and one girl in my class said something that made me laugh:

"Guys don't understand periods until they've had a couple girlfriends. Then they're good to go."

That sounds about right to me.

I kind of avoid telling boys about my honors project. Well no, that's not entirely true. Depending on who it is, I either completely avoid talking about it, or I whole-heartedly spearhead the conversation and quietly judge them based on their first reactions. I'd say only about 5% of boys fall into the latter category though.

The Wise Wound

The other day I was perusing books in the library and came across this book called The Wise Wound. The prologue seemed a little wtf? to me:

"This is a book of many questions and some answers. What is this menstruation that half of the world undergoes? Has it any use, or any purpose? Is it like a vestigial organ, left over from an outworn evolutionary stage, or could it be the accompaniment of some hitherto unused ability in women? If it is an illness, why is it the lot of women suffer in this way? To some women it can be like changing and return, with depths and enhancements, even enchantments. To other its return is a torment. Which is it, blessing or curse? And, if curse, why does it fall on women alone?"

At the risk of sounding cynical:
It's a biological process, not a Dungeons & Dragons quest.

Mail bag!

I've started getting email/messages about my project; you cannot imagine my excitement.

Lacey writes:

Are you aware of the Always program--Protecting Futures--that provides girls in Africa with pads "so they don't have to miss school during their periods?" I'm quite ambivalent about it, and wondered if I was justified. While I understand and agree with their goal of providing a means of educational equality, I was curious about the waste management problems this might create, and how the extra trash from this program will affect the girls' home settlements. I know that many of the US's "favorite" menstruation products have dangerous chemicals in them--would these be harmful to the local soil and water, as well as possibly for the girls they're meant to help?

I thought maybe you might know some of the specifics and/or ramifications of such a program, given your research interest. It seems to me that supplying them with Luna pads, sea sponges, Keeper Cups, or other reusable protection would make more sense both practically and ecologically... even though these approaches make exactly NO money for Always.





Then I say:

Yes, I have heard of the Always program, but only though a coupon ad I found in my parents' newspaper a few weeks ago. I don't know that much about it, but my feelings seem to be similar to yours.

I do know of a similar UK-based program called Dignity! Period. that sends disposable pads to Zimbabwe. I've read that the reason why reusable pads would be unhelpful is because of the shortage of water. I guess that makes sense. I suppose that reasoning could be extended to the keeper/divacup as well.

Like I said, I don't really know that much about the program or about life in Africa or anything, but it seems to me that African women would have their own ways of coping with their cycles rather than relying on charity from the US or UK. While I appreciate the intention of help behind Protecting Futures or Dignity! Period., I can't help but think they're imperialistic/self-righteous and more focused on the money/good publicity. It seems like just another way to show how Africa needs us to help them out, that they're incapable of handling even their own bodily functions without American/British intervention. I kind of doubt that's true.

Furthermore, when American/British women see campaigns like this, it furthers the misconception that the only two options for dealing with menstrual cycles are 1)tampons or 2)pads, when of course that's simply not true.

In any case, campaigns like this do seem to be a short-term solution. Always is sending pads to the poor little African girls. Great. But what happens when Procter & Gamble no longer wishes to sustain this program? And, like you said, what will be the environmental implications? Unfortunately, I don't know how to answer these questions either, but I'm glad that at least there are others with the same things on their minds! Sorry I can't really give you any more info, but yes, I do think your concerns are justified.


Thoughts?
P&G's press release about the program.
Comments from Red Tent Sisters

Boo

I just got an email from one of the Vagina Monologues directors. She said that they had a lot of problems and won't be able to do the show this year.

Well that just sucks.

MAUDE

Today while reading a piece called "Can Tampon Safety Be Regulated?" (Esther Rome and Hill Wolhandler), I learned a new term: DEN, short for Device Experience Network. It was a public record of all the complaints the FDA received about a variety of products. Their website is a headache to try to navigate through, but I finally found some of the reports. Since the book I was reading was published in 1996, DEN must be an outdated acronym and now it's known as something called MAUDE -- Manufacturer And User Device Experience. It's pretty obscure (have you ever heard of it? I sure hadn't.), so I'm sure the reports there are just a tiny sampling of all the problems ladies have had with their tampons.

Many of the reports are pretty mundane, something along the lines of, "consumer required assistance of physician to remove tampon after string had broke," but some of them are pretty gnarly.

• The patient initially went to a medical clinic in 2006 complaining of vaginal discharge with odor. She had no abdominal or pelvic pain and denied any fever or urinary symptoms. She was discharged with a diagnosis of yeast vaginitis and prescribed diflucan (150 mg po x one). The patient returned to the clinic fifteen days later stating that a piece of tampon without a string had been expelled from her vagina the previous day. She presented with vaginal burning and irritation, but denied any abdominal pain, fever, or chills

• Reported that this month-swelling, itching and redness but much greater than last month - swelling, so great consumer states she was unable to walk. This month included both upper thighs and labia.

• Consumer reported that she switched from the regular o. B. Tampons to the silk ease when she couldn't find the regular tampons. She used the silk ease and got very ill within 48 hours and was hospitalized with what the hospital described as a kidney infection. Consumer stated that the doctors eventually traced this kidney problem back to the fact she actually had tss. Consumer stated she was sick for a period of 3 weeks, but is now fine at the time of this call.

• Consumer reported she developed a rash, broke out in hives, and went into shock after using a tampon. Saw physician and received a needle for the shock.

But for the most part, each report is a complaint about the string breaking, or one of the "pledgets" disconnecting and getting stuck in someone, or just general reports about TSS. The manufacturer narrative is almost always "We're awaiting results" or "We tested that lot and nothing was wrong."

Going out on a limb: I don't think you would want to shove any cotton in your vag after you've read about all these malfunctions.

I'm almost finished reading Cunt, by Inga Muscio. It rocks. Here is one of my favorite parts:

I went to Anystore USA to buy a box of tampons. I had but eleven dollars to my name. I went down the aisle where I would find "feminine hygiene" products, bitterly playing that term through my mind.

Why are words like "hygiene" and "sanitary"-- which imply that a woman's cunt is unclean-- acceptable in our society? Why are these people trying to sell me feminine deodorant spray? That's like hawking floral air freshener to a lady who lives in a rose garden.

Also, excuse me, but what's so clean about dicks?

One never hears of sanitary jock straps, deodorant condoms, perfumed Hershey-squirt protection pads or hygienic ball wipes, whereas I've heard tell of need for such products.

So anyway, with thoughts such as these playing through my mind, you can imagine my dismay on tampon-buying excursions. If I happen to be in a good mood, it's simply annoying. If I happen to be in a bad mood, I am a green monster who lives in a trash can with a grand piano. On this occassion, I was in a bad mood.

I grumbled down the aisle, openly sneering at all the products on the shelves. New Freedom this and Light Days that.

Comfort, security.

Plastic applicators.

Discreet disposal pouches printed with flowers that do not exist.

I positively fumed as I scanned the prices. Five, six, seven bucks for a box of cotton. Sixty, seventy bucks a year.

Why the flying fuck should a woman have to pay some huge corporation over and over because the lining of her uterus naturally, biologically sheds every month?